I still hear her laugh in the back of my mind;
a simple joy captured in time.
This Civil War has lasted a while,
so as I listen for the bastion's alarm, I sit exploring the past;
the sublime master's design, Fate;
many visits to the liquor store waiting for my 5th deployment.
The wait; thinking a drink and I could just ignore it.
The hate; no control, all drafted in line.
My boots, strapped and secured;
so important to have that support engaging in the action of War.
Just maybe this is the last.
Many stories tend to start with a description of the clouds.
But this one... is without, just a mist in our surroundings.
A new era prevailing; such persevering surveillance,
robotic camera details amongst a series of fail safes.
Still not used to the eerie silence of the rail trains;
rendered null by the jail breaks...
behind me used to be the bustling action of the city.
High speed moving every passenger so swiftly.
Propaganda spread via graffiti bombings with
government bribing loyalists through weakened promises.
I can't put my finger on why I didn't join the youth.
I guess my optimistic nature tends spoil the truth.
In college I was skeptical, but needed more than proof,
the evidence took precedence but I didn't think it'd force a coup.
In retrospect revolutions seem easy to predict;
But the call of Dogma is never easy to resist.
Today is the day of reckoning. I dropped my pen and ink;
as my bunk-mate used to say, it's better to never think.
But I'm a skeptic I said, should a captain let his treasure sink?
He said a man is simply judged despite the means for the measuring.
I supposed he was right then; today more than ever.
Rain suits over flack jackets to combat this horrid weather.
Whether to weather the storm's never a question explored...
The pain of the freezing rain's much like flesh to the sword.
Dextroamphetamine deployed to the thumping heart,
today in history: Blitzkrieg stomped before it could up and start.
We wandered for months in this fucking darkness;
Our cousins and brothers are up in arms to defend their freedom.
I still struggle when attempting to set these events to language.
I accept it's dangerous and disguise my subjective anguish...
Experience is nothing if the memory is vanquished;
So what is this thought as I'm staring into this centurion surveillance?
Technology is greater now; to think of what I fought for...
I used to hear her laugh then; a faint giggle or chuckle;
its memory exists like the love but the sense of its muffled.
I still pick the pen up to consider the worst of it
but there's no resolution; The Infinite Purposeless.
Defend the conservative; lose ambition and certainty.
The economy is greater now; to think of what I fought for...
A cause lost in the cause itself,
a war lost in a Lost War.