Thursday, June 12, 2014

Love Insurance

"Love Insurance" - based on a true story

"Fate leads, but the unwilling drags along." - Seneca

The congregation swayed with every pompous phrase;
it's hard to take seriously arguments starting with "the Bible states..."
My Mother used to be a Dead Head.
Hippie freedom into the grunge era.
Never grateful for the faithful nature I couldn't expunge.
Considered open minded by her friends, then...
Just when you thought a mind was impervious to penetration.
All it took was a mention that I was "curious with trepidation."
I couldn't adjust.
Extenuating circumstances ensued: imperfect family roots,
with philosophical garb torn by insurgents handling Truth!
Zealotry, of that down home American variety.
Hellish speech tearing through society.
And yet, I found Hope, staring through her prying greed,
as she screamed: "The Devil creeps! You'll likely be
torn asunder for nothing but a biological misfiring!"
At least she admitted, at times, that I hadn't a choice.
She noticed mostly that the "other kind" were more a passive annoyance.
But she could be quite Savage in voice.
High school wasn't a struggle; intellectually.
Time moved, as if divided between different mental streams...
thinking with profundity, of grand ideas... a little sexually.
Meeting her wasn't a challenge either.
I guess if we just go along with fate we'll find happiness eventually.
From amongst the clouds of ether:
connected, we... are representative collectively.
Essentially.
 
So, what are the implications now?
I sat and told you that I was your saving grace but now,
saving face is a major strain on your concentration.
I'm sorry I didn't stop mistakes before I could make them.
Obfuscating your problems?
Don't hide the pain for too long.
I've tried to change, but life is dangerous inside this matrix.
At one and the same time my mind changes then stabilizes.
My favorite times of the day include the time that I make;
they lie when they say convincingly they've got it made.
I'm too strong. A lava lake's creation follows if we stay
blind to the horror from the heralds of this awful place.
The arrows from the feral flocks. The rain.
The apocalyptic fall from grace you know that you've got to break.
I've tried to change! I promise.
To be honest, this is a truth that I would lie to save.

There's a sense in which perfection exists and yet,
we never admit it when it appears, so clearly.
I've seen nature perform miracles, more than fear,
more than spiritual delusion, more than confusion.
Something so deep you even struggle to resent it,
but instead you respect it, deeply connected.
With music, affection, a fusion, a union,
the way it feels when you move in... Finally.
A piece of Mind released in time to see, Us.

But...
I see comets. Primordial chemical concoctions.
A linear perception of the evidence is nonsense.
The portal through to this persistent newness is
just the catalyst to your non-existent exuberance.
Love is... all of the above, this
brilliance one doesn't imagine until they struggle with madness.
So I sit and watch freedom approach us.
If only they'll legislate. My Mother will get her fate. 
There's not much Jesus can show us.
Have you ever seen a controlled thrust, with intent behind it?
Never mind... this, is all just so you can understand this.
I didn't want today to end in just another damned kiss.

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